You know that voice? That one that’s in the back of your head all the time talking to you…usually not in a very positive tone. Saying things like: you aren’t strong enough, you aren’t smart enough, it is too hard, I can’t do this, nobody will understand, etc. This voice has such power! How did it get such power? Well, I believe it is because it is US talking to OURSELVES and we believe we are RIGHT. We believe in ourselves, and we forget that we are NOT always right. Ohhhhhh….tough pill to swallow right? Believe me, this one was REALLY tough for me!
What I learned though is that limiting, negative self-talk can draw us down and keep us stuck more than anything else. Why? Well, because no matter the strides we are taking forward those voices like to jump in there and ruin it all! They make you second guess your forward progress saying things like: that’s not enough or you have a long way to go, or did you forget about this or remember when you were….? And, that voice is LOUD! Louder than the voice cheering you on, louder than that spark of joy and happiness you saw when you made that tiny step forward.
So, how do we defeat it? Good question! IT TAKES PRACTICE!!! This is not going to resolve overnight. So, you must set realistic goals to take it down, crush it and put it in its place! You have to learn to seek the small voice, the one telling you that you just succeeded, you just made a positive move, that you are proud of yourself, that you can do this! You have to find your inner “fight”.
As I put this on paper, I realize it sounds simple right. Well, let me tell you, it isn’t. I wanna be brutally honest, I struggled with this tenfold. I had lost my “fight” completely. And that is not the person I am. I have always been the fighter, the one that can get through anything, the one that will never give up! BUT, my circumstances knocked my fight out and hid it deep deep away where I couldn’t find it. Even my husband commented on this.
One day, he was trying to get me to go on a hike with him but I was just scared….scared of a hike you say??!! Yep, after my surgeries, I was scared of my own shadow, scared I would get hurt again, scared I wouldn’t live, scared to admit I wasn’t the same person I was before, scared to be weak and not measure up and that voice got REALLY LOUD!! Telling me a hike was dangerous, that I would get hurt, that I was weak…etc. etc. So, what did I do, told my hubby I didn’t think I could? He looked right at me and said, “I have never seen you like this. You have always been a fighter, where did she go?” Did that hurt? Yep, and on the inside I was screaming..you don’t understand!! And I got mad at him. Funny the power that voice has…..now it was causing me to have stress in other places of my life, ie. My marriage.
So, how did I overcome this? First I was completely honest with myself and admitted I was full of fear, lacked confidence, was still angry at what had happened, and that I was focusing on the negative. It was only after I admitted this and much more that I was able to truly see what was happening. I started paying attention to what I was saying in my head. And THEN I had to make a CHOICE. I could stay where I was OR I could try to change it. I had to learn how to combat that LOUD voice and the only way to do it was to start actively searching for the small voice. I had to pay attention and make positive choices on which voice I wanted to listen to. It wasn’t easy, I forgot all the time and fell back into hearing that loud voice. But, the more I focused, the more I practiced, the more effort I put out, it got easier. I am still not perfect at it, but I am much more aware and awareness brings freedom. Freedom to make choices. Freedom to choose how I want to live my life and who I am going to allow in my head. Oh, I almost forgot ….. guess what else happens when you begin this process? The LOUD voice and the QUIET voice switch places!!! Yep, you got it…the positive, hopefully, joyful, fighter gets LOUD and that negative, party pooper, fearful, anxious voice gets QUIETER! Who wouldn’t want that???
Join me today in finding that quiet voice and making it STRONG!